Curve balls and Turkeys

When I decided to join the Peace Corps I wasn't expecting life at home to stop and wait for me to return. DUH. Ok but honestly, I was kind of hoping it would slow down a little. You know, people could just sit back and chill for a couple years so I wouldn't miss too much. I even left explicit instructions with certain family members in hopes of missing as little as possible (I've always been the bossy child). Well guys, I am here to tell you that life doesn't listen very well to explicit instructions. No sir, no not at all. So life at home didn't stop, big surprise. And it didn't slow down, it was a long shot anyways. But did it really have to speed up? For the first time since I was 8 years old, my entire immediate family is living within 100 miles of each other and big things are happening in their lives. I mean, BIG things! Big scary things and BIG amazingly wonderful things and all sorts of BIG things in between. What are these BIG things you ask? Well, those are their stories to tell, not mine. The point is, for the first time since I was 8 years old they are all together, supporting each other, celebrating with each other, and just BEING with each other. And I am here. No matter how you slice it, that is hard to swallow.

No one likes to admit that they've planned out the way certain things in life are going to go, because it doesn't really work that way. But we all do it to one degree or another. Honestly, I don't even realize Im doing it most of the time. The plans are buried somewhere deep in my subconscious until life takes a different turn and I have to come face to face with them and the fact that they will only ever be exactly what they are... plans. I guess its not the plans themselves that cause the problem, its the attachment to the plans that really does you in. Its always the attachment that does you in. But that's a whole Buddhist can-o-worms I won't open right now. I think I am getting off topic. The point is, the past few weeks threw a lot of curve balls my way. One, right after another, until I was pretty sure that just one more might knock me flat on my face. Every time I thought I found my footing, something else came along to challenge my capacity as a good daughter, a good sister, and a good friend. The good news is, I did not fall flat on my face. Thank goodness! (Ive actually done that once before and I like my teeth too much to do it again). A couple AWESOME crying sessions, some much needed floating-in-the-ocean time, and many many hugs from a woman named Norma Jean and where am I now? Well, I am right where I should be. In Antigua, loving and supporting my family as much as I can from afar and trying to suck out all of the goodness from this experience, down down down to the marrow. I am still trying to find my footing here in the Caribbean and working to define my relationships with people near and far. I probably always will be. I think curve balls are good for a person. They challenge you and remind you of what is really important, which leads me to the whole point of this blog post...Thanksgiving!

So here it is. This Thanksgiving I am thankful for my Mother and the unconditional love that has poured out of her and into me for the last 25 years. I am thankful for my Father who is very likely my number 1 fan, and has taught me that a life without passion is no life at all. I am thankful for my Sister, the most compassionate woman I know and the only person who will ALWAYS rub my feet when I ask. I am thankful for my Niece who reminds me daily of the purity and wisdom that we all begin with and sometimes lose along the way. And I am thankful for a man who believes so much in me and what I am doing that he lovingly watched me go. There are infinitely more things that I am thankful for, and for that I am thankful. Let the feasting commence!

Happy Thanksgiving!

“Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving."